..and I'll be your personal day planner.
That is what I feel like on some days. It hit me yesterday as I was serving breakfast to the girls (which means I was dumping cereal into their bowls---hey, it was whole grain antioxidant-rich cereal). I was talking to them like this: "Ok, so we'll have breakfast and then we'll dress for the day. We'll go to Gryffon's house to play and then we'll have lunch. Then it will be Sophia's nap time and we'll play blocks and dress-up. When she wakes up, we'll have a snack and then go on a walk and toss pennies in the fountain. When daddy gets home, he'll take out Sophia and you and I will meet Hannah at the pool and then go have creemies. Yes, the dirt dish is an option on the menu (note: it's crushed chocolate cookies with fudge sauce and vanilla ice cream and chocolate sprinkles and a gummy worm and WHOA it's much bigger than I realized). At the end of our day, we'll bathe (oops, that itinerary item got neglected), read some of your favorite books, listen to soothing music, and sleep in our pillowtop mattress bed."
Ok, so, I didn't say all of that, but after a certain point, I felt like I could have. She would lose interest about halfway through that. I could add things like: "Breakfast will consist of lightly sweetened wheat flakes mixed with oat crusted wild blueberries, served with local organic 2% milk. Yes, it's rBST free. An option of sliced peaches that I bought a huge bag of because you normally eat all of them in one day will be available. You may choose to lose all interest in peaches at this point. That is your option. Your personal day planner will find a use for those quickly softening peaches in a crisp or a pie or something. Or maybe the fruit flies will just take over."
"Snack will consist of a conveniently located box of crisp (well, they were before we had all this rain) apple flavored whole wheat organic crackers. (I know! They are still bad for your teeth and therefore will be served with ice cold local water (ahem, tap) from a suitable drinking vessel.) Lunch will be roasted organic peanut butter served with wild blueberry jam (it's not organic, but I think we'll live) on local whole grain and seed bread. If you decide to sleep through lunch, chef will still be available to provide lunch after you wake. Dinner will consist of orecchiette pasta that you selected earlier mixed with organic tomato and basil sauce and freshly grated Parmesan cheese. (This is a departure from your usual plain pasta because this combination "tastes like pizza" and "smells so good!"). Drink choices at all meals are local 2% milk, local water (hee hee), or fruit juice of the day--one meal only, please."
"Chef is available at all hours if you would desire something more and substitutions are not only accepted, they are expected. Due to the season, snacks of local strawberries and blueberries will be provided at all hours of the day. Please do not get them on the furniture."